scholarship

i got the scholarship.. at CHIJ..

i dont know whether to be happy or not.  i want this, but only if everyone is received. okay, its an impossible wish, but im not feeling all that spirit anymore. i think if im didnt pass through the subject test, i wont cry.. but instead i cry when i got received. there are so many others who put much much much more amazing effort on this but i got this and i dont think i want this. god, im totally an ungrateful, egoist, and.. what else. i dont know. im depressed. i just feel a bit better because my parents really adore this news.